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[translation]
Another new moon, and still the interloper remains.  Mom and the Crunchy Fairy even pet the pathetic jingly thing these days.  She gets outside and everybody rushes outside to find her before Blanco can kick her ass.  Really.  Don't Mom and the Crunchy Fairy remember signing the triplicate document at the shelter in blood saying their would be no other cats if they adopt me?  I tolerate the occasional puppy, baby, etc, but it's been... more months than i can count.

Perhaps the fish I sacrificed last month wasn't good enough because it was drenched in malt vinegar?  No chances this month.  Maybe if I steal a goldfish from next door the kuan-yin will help this time.

Did I mention her shit stinks?

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[translation]
There Is A Dog In My House.

There is a Dog.
In my house.
There is. A DOG. In. My house.
Who let a god-damn dog in my house?

They left the screen unlocked.  I'm going outside. 
It's gonna take a whole bowl of crunchies to get me back.
I hope.

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[translation]
Okay, I admit I don't mind sunning in the window all day, but where are my servants? We've had sidelong and zhiversten and 0cryptic1 and shockwavesix and nativeprincess and her sister and my beck and call, which is useful when mom and dad don't prioritize my needs properly.

More house guests please!

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[translation] A few days ago, the Crunchy Fairy was looking for his big book. He could not find his big book. I found his big book and held it hostage. He still did not give me crunchies.

Perhaps he does not understand my ransom attempts? It is always hard to tell with big people. They are not as clever as I.

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[translation] The crunchy fairy needs to come home early more often.  Maybe if I trip him and he breaks his other ankle... hmm...